Ice Cream is Good - Part 1
by Gnerbil Firewood
I'm a tinker by nature,
like most of us Gnomes. I
love to fiddle around with
things and make new things
out of them. Now I often
find myself in the kitchen
tinkering around with my
dinner. The wife doesn't
usually like what I make
| and she doesn't usually let
me work the oven.
So I went into the basement
and started thinking of a
way to make my own food. I
tried to think of what I
would want to eat if I
could have anything at all.
I figured it would be
something sweet, obviously.
I also wanted something
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cold to make the heat in my
workroom seem less
oppressive. Now, I get a
lot of things sent to me by
my lunatic nephew,
Brinewillow. He likes to
wander into dangerous
places and pick stuff up
from the natives and send
them to me. A few days
into thinking up a new way
to make my cold treats, a
| package arrived. The young
halfling that delivered it
was happy to get rid of it.
That's pretty reasonable
considering that it was
cold and had a chilly mist
pouring out of it.
Well, the note said that it
was the hide of some beast
called a Gelidran. I've
never seen one of these
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things, but they must be an
amazing sight. Even dead,
this things icy hide was
incredibly cold. Now, you
can only imagine how this
sent my tinker's mind into
a frenzy.
I gathered up an old metal
container I had and lined
it with this hide, but the
metal eventually froze and
| wasn't very useful. I
found, however, that an old
unfired medium-sized
container would hold up
better under the low
temperatures.
Then I found a boot gasket
that one of my contacts had
just sewed up for me from
the severed tentacle of
something he called a Feran
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and fitted that on the
thing to prevent spillage.
Now I had a very cold
container that I could use
to make my treats!
I started by putting all
sorts of things in there
and stirring them around
with a heavy spoon I
borrowed from the kitchen
while the wife was out. I
| started to find some
interesting concoctions,
but stirring them up was
quickly becoming more work
than the results were
worth. So I started
tinkering around again.
All I had to do was add a
couple of sprockets and a
couple of metal rods to do
the stirring and hook them
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up to one of my
steam-powered pistons. Now
all I have to do is throw
tasty stuff into the thing
and it will stir itself up!
Of course this is where the
trouble started. I soon
learned that when I chose
the stuff to stir up and
freeze the results weren't
very tasty. Eventually I
| broke down and brought my
new device upstairs. The
wife is a great cook and
without her help I knew I
wasn't going to be able
make anything tasty. The
only thing that I had to
fear was that she'd try to
feed me into the thing.
It took some cajoling on my
part, but soon Brunelda was
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thinking up all sorts of
tasty things! The best
ones were made with cream
and some ice from Velious.
Soon enough that's all we
were making in the thing,
so we named it Gnerbil
Firewood's Amazing Ice
Cream Churning Device. I
suppose, as usual, folks
will change the name...
| The wife hates it when I
give out her recipes, but
since this is my device,
I'm going to tell you some
of the best stuff to put
into it. It's probably
best if you have someone
that knows how to cook do
this or you'll probably
regret the way it tastes.
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